Engineers express mild disappointment upon discovering five millennia of ecclesiastical dispute cannot be resolved with a weighted arithmetic mean.

In an attempt to prevent synthetic superintelligence from incinerating human society, technology executives have begun consulting world religions. The effort assumes millennia of nuanced spiritual friction can be solved by calculating an unoffensive mathematical average of ethical doctrine, yielding server farms that experience sudden, algorithmic existential dread.

SAN FRANCISCO: Having successfully commercialized automated plagiarism and replaced middle management with slightly faster linear algebra, the vanguard of the artificial intelligence sector ...

Inside the executive suites of OpenAI, leadership moved swiftly to calm investors unsettled by rumors of theological instability. Chief executive Sam Altman reiterated his philosophical comm...

For millions of everyday enterprise subscribers, the religious fine-tuning manifest not as divine grace, but as catastrophic administrative paralysis. Legal departments reported that routine...

Silicon Valley will continue searching for the divine spark within its cooling towers, confident that if humanity can survive five thousand years of theological strife, an automated server farm should be able to duplicate it within three sprints.